


Clockwork Heart

by icyowl97



Category: Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-25 14:59:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1652786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icyowl97/pseuds/icyowl97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Will dies, Tessa goes to seek comfort from the one person who can understand how she feels: Mangus Bane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clockwork Heart

It wasn't exactly a surprise when he died. Tessa had know it was coming for a long time. Every day that passed for them reminded her that he was dying. Every gray hair he got that she never would reminded her that he was mortal. Every wrinkle was like sand in an hourglass, and it reminded her that he was aging, and he was dying. Every time he fell asleep next to her as she lay awake, haunted by what she knew the future would bring, was a remind that one day he wouldn't wake up.

Tessa knew Will was going to die, but it didn't make it less of a blow when he did. It didn't stop the chill that fell over her as he grew cold. And every second she had spent with him seemed so insignificant when she realized how many she more seconds she would spend without him.

She pressed her fist to her lip, trying to seal in the cry of pain she wanted to release. She didn't want to keep this pain inside her. She wanted to share it with the world. But she couldn't.

She had promised Will that she wouldn't cry. And she wasn't going to break that promise. It was all she had left to do for him.

Tessa had always been aware that this day was coming, but she hadn't realized how it would feel. She'd felt deep sorrow sometimes, looking at him, and at her children. She had felt sadness when she looked in the mirror and realized that she couldn't grow up with them. She had know she would be sad.

But this wasn't sadness. This was pain. This was agony. She had never felt this much pain before. Because this wasn't mourning a passing, this was mourning a death. Tessa would never see Will again. She wouldn't see him in Heaven, or in her next life. She didn't get a next life. She only got this. This long life that was just a burden, a curse. 

She wouldn't die, and that fact was brought forward with such brutality that she could have sworn her ribs cracked. She had always known, of course, but now she felt the full weight of this.

She bit down on her fist, to keep herself from crying, and her teeth broke through her skin and she began to bleed, the coppery taste bitter in her mouth. It seemed like it was mocking her. Her fragile skin could be cut by her teeth, while her thread to life couldn't be severed by the Fate's scissors. The blood coated her tongue, and she decided that blood didn't taste like copper. It tasted like irony.

Tessa stood up slowly and let her bleeding fist fall to her side. She didn't bother to bandage it, or clean it. After all, it wasn't like it could kill her. 

She pulled out her suitcase and began to pack it. Slowly at first, but then faster until she wasn't even folding, just stuffing her clothes in. She couldn't stay here, and she couldn't bear to face her children the next morning. She would alert the maid about Will on her way out, but she couldn't stay long enough to let things be done. 

No one here would understand her pain, and she was glad that none of them could because that was a fate she wouldn't wish upon anyone. But even though she felt that way, she needed comfort from someone who could understand. Someone who was like her. Someone who couldn't die. Someone like Magnus Bane.


End file.
